The recorded history of the planet Earth!

"It was a full nine degrees hotter in Oakland than it has ever been on any May 15 in the recorded history of planet Earth, the weather service said." says the SFChronicle. I have been critiqued for writing papers that read like I cut and paste, but this article is a beauty in the area of lack of transitions. Its like it gets a little hot and we are only able to report in one-liners.