Don't Mess With Texas

I have spent many breaths apologizing, reclaiming and defending a state I really love. I have often reflected on why this is. Do Texans really have more state pride and investment than citizen's of other states? Is Texas just big and loud enough to be the one most often picked on, lending it to needing the most defense? Or do we really deserve all the razzing and grief?
I read an article on the New York Times site tonight that in its humorist manner, really spoke some unapologetic truth in line with my feelings about Texas. Scan it for yourself:
We’re Big, We’re Back, We’re Texas
Texas, just like my family, my church, my school and myself has done and continues to do and say things that I wish we hadn't. Being a United Methodist from Texas, like our current president, does not mean that I voted for or agree with anything he has done. It does mean that as another fallible human being in our world I pray for him. I pray that Mr. Bush, like the rest of us, comes often and quickly to humility and love for other's as ourselves. I pray that everyone will visit Texas and that you receive an honest dose of our hospitality before choosing to rant against us again. It may not be the same for you, but when you talk about Texas to me, your talking about my family. We're trying to make our way, too, we just tend to be a little louder, say things like ya'll and fixin' to but its all out of love.
Ya'll come see us real soon, we're fixin' to have supper and there's always extra.

forgetting where i am

As I sat in the library (wishing it were warm enough to be reading outside) this afternoon, I was reminded how I forget or am just not fully appreciative of the resources and people around me. I am working on my synthesis, which will include reflections on various forms of worship creation, one of which may be the work of Eric Elnes. Rev. Dr. Eric Elnes is senior pastor of Scottsdale Congregational UCC (http://www.scucc.com/our_staff.cfm) The church has received significant attention for innovations in worship, many related to the arts. I discovered the Rev. Dr. Elnes had stayed across the hall from me over the weekend, though I knew he was connected to my fellow student and building-mate, it had not occurred to me that he might be physically accessible for dialogue. I've sat in silence over a meal with Rosemary Radford Ruether, too engaged in my eating to engage a great mind in dialogue. Tomorrow, I will have dinner with liberation theologian, George Baldwin followed by a class discussion with David Solnit. Solnit founded Art and Revolution, worked with organizing the protest against Taco Bell for fair worker's wages, the 2003 protest in San Francisco essentially shutting down the financial district, among a slew of other activist events in over 20 years around the world.
The list goes on and on of people making a huge difference, being recognized for it and being close enough for me to talk to, directly. I also find that there are actually people in the world doing similar work to me (integrating arts into social justice activism and faith communities) but why is it not till the fourth semester of graduate school studies that I am finding out about them? Did I not look hard enough? Was there somewhere that said, here's how to find people working in your obscure field, and I missed it? Or does the educational system (any of our systems/institutions for that matter) still cater so heavily to mainstream career paths, leaving those of us who don't fit into any of these paths to fumble blindly until we get lucky?
As for now I must prepare for tomorrow's dinner and class so that I cease to let opportunities pass me by.

Rules for life

In this same Lay Spiritual Praxis course of my last post we've been challenged to write a rule for our life, in light of reading the Rule of St. Benedict and briefly studying monastic practice. I have at the same time been recently confronted with a desire to create balance in my life, and an awareness that I will have to be intentional in that creation. In class, we have also been discussing what we know about this time in history and monastic life b/c of the rules that had to be created. I wonder what my rules say about my life? Here are some rules I am starting with from my knowings about myself.
I function better when I sleep from approx 2/3am-10/11am. So rule one is to honor that as much as possible.
My body wants to exercise, this semester I will do yoga on monday, dance on tuesday and run 3 of the remaining 5 days.
To intentionally divide my day to provide at least one hour (this will significantly expand post graduation) each day to just be social with no agenda.
To spend another hour each day just for me, reading (nonschool material), making art, soaking in sun, watching a movie.
To study and be outside as often as possible (no reading/eating in doors on a sunny day)

Mostly, I'm not a big rule person. These guidelines feel like a start, feel doable in a final semester of grad school attempt to find balance place in life. May be holding it here in public will keep me more accountable as well.

I'm not typically afraid of the dark

I recently read Parker Palmer's Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation as a requirement for my Lay Spiritual Praxis course. How fitting, that I just happen to be waiting for the voice of vocation to scream at me (I can be hard of hearing when it comes to life choices). Many cards, bookmarks and hope filled kitsch put forth the notion of a window/door opening in order to lead you to the next event in life. When one door closes, may another open..etc. Palmer has a chapter which has lingered with me called, When way closes. Rather than looking for the new way that is opening, Palmer suggests that way has closed and if we turn around we are standing in a room full of opportunity and simply need to look around. The door of seminary is quickly closing behind me (I even wonder if my writers block in my 10 hour effort yesterday to write my thesis is because of this sense of finality). I am desperately searching for a door or window to open. But, Palmer (and my mother in a conversation many weeks ago) has made me wonder if I am standing in the room. If this is true, I can't see a darn thing and I'd love for someone to at least let me know where the light switch is.

the movie of your life

I was asked recently who I would want to play me in the movie of my life. I was struck without an answer. Not simply because I don't forsee the need for that movie to ever be made, but because I really enjoy casting, yet can't come up with who I would want to represent me. As I was just reading an article on people.com I wonder if it is not so important as who plays me in the movie as to who replaces me in my work. This summer we (PSR and the greater Religion and Art Community) lost one of our greatest teachers, Doug Adams. The conversation since has been how do you replace such a man. At this point, he has not been replaced and the conversations are leading in the direction of it taking three people to fill the vacancy. People reports that it will take three actors (of extreme talent, Jude Law, Johnny Depp and Colin Farrell) to complete the role the late Heath Ledger holds in his unfinished film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Is it possible to find balance of the work and play of life while being so instrumental as to need three people to succeed you?

on a completely different note: http://www.nkotb.com/ check it out. enough said.

abundant life

So, I can't decide if it's just been a particularly engaging week since I began blogging or if my life is always spattered with these interesting moments but I'm more aware to them now that I hold a space for possible blog topics in the back of my mind. However, as I sit to write tonight, I find one noteworthy event holding the spotlight in my mind and heart.

Saturday afternoon, I attended the ordination of a dear friend, it was positively beautiful. Simply a room dancing with the spirit. I shed a tear not just because of the beauty, but because it was so right. Surrounded by a company of LGBTQ clergy, an openly gay man was fully ordained into the ministry of the church with his partner standing next to him. The communities gathered to love and support my friend gave true witness to diversity in ministry. The leather community which he is connected to had a leather stole, with PRIDE colors made in support. We sang, laughed, cried and partook of communion fully presided and served by clergy and laity across the . Saturday afternoon was the children of Jesus eating in remembrance, more vividly than my life may have ever seen before. Will our institutions ever love and treat with equality all of God's beautiful children?

This beautifu rite was the beginning of a wonderful and exhausting visit to LA. With Amerifriends, we went dancing in Venice, hiking in Santa Monica, slept on the cold beach (I've never been to an LA beach and been warm), went to Hollywood, ate sushi, saw a movie, discussed dating at a dive bar, strolled the Getty Villa, lounged, ate Indian, shopped and found a fun new band called What Made Milwaukee Famous..they're from Austin.

Reclaiming Cunt

I co-organized and directed a production of the Vagina Monologues this week. We also held a V-day chapel service, lecture on Responding Faithfully and Effectively to Domestic Violence and tonight we will celebrate with a What Would your Vagina Wear Party on campus. We performed the Vagina Monologues in our Chapel. I guess, when I really think about it, that is huge. If we're not bringing these issues to the forefront in church, then where are we talking about them? Apparently not on TV! This link leads to this morning's segment on the TODAY show of an interview w/ Jane Fonda and Eve Ensler (the playwright). Cunt has been bleeped out and apologized for (its original airing was live and not bleeped).

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/23165403#23165403

I trust the research of one of my actresses, Audrey deCoursey, who wrote the following in our campus paper this week,
"The word ‘vagina’ originates in the Latin word for ‘scabbard’ or ‘sheath’ (i.e. for a sword). It’s named not for its crucial function of birthing babies, not for its function as an ‘out hole’ for monthly blood, not for its potential to provide its bearer with sexual pleasure. No, it’s named for what it does for the penis.
‘Cunt,’ on the other hand, is a cognate with such happy words as ‘cunning,’ ‘kind,’ and ‘kin.’ It has resonance in the names of goddesses like Kunda and Cunina. According to Barbara G. Walker, it was a title of respect for wise women in pre-modern times. And, yes, it sounds a bit more empowering to have a ‘cunt’ on your body than a ‘vagina.’"

Is there any word for penis that would get bleeped on national TV? I don't have time to look now, I must go and celebrate cunt with my dear seminarian friends.

something new

In seminary the requirement to reflect is everpresent and the recommendation to journal is not far behind. I have never found journalling to be a helpful practice in my life, mostly I find that I look back later and think how silly my writing or whatever topic now appears. However, as I've moved many places and met so many folk along the way, people want to keep up with what I'm doing and likewise I want to continue to know ya'll. I've been unsuccessful at writing any sort of regular email, so as I've been keeping up with the Blogs of many of my friends, thought I would try something new. I imagine these first posts to be longer as I do some catching up.