trying to do my part

Today is Blog Action Day, as I posted in the video before. I've struggled with what to write since joining on, but made the commitment in order to force myself to come up with something. I don't consider myself a great environmentalist or 'granola' type person by any means, but living in Texas it doesn't take much to sound like a broken 'liberal-tree hugger' record. I attempt to buy recycled, take my reusable shopping bags to the store, recycle and reuse as much as I can.
I haven't researched into all the ways that climate change is really affecting me, but wanting to take care of the earth has just always been a part of me. When I was a child it was my responsibility to crush the coke cans and when the bags got full, mom or dad would take me to the collection place and I'd get my couple dollars. I don't know if we started this tradition as a young lesson in earning money or saving the planet. But, it worked as both. I don't recycle to make money anymore but just to be a better steward of my world.
What I struggle the most with now is buying organic, recycled, etc good for the planet products (I've not yet figured out how to go cold-turkey on consuming, though I've made cut backs) because they're often more expensive. As I've entered the stage of living paycheck to paycheck and even to credit card when the banks are empty it is hard to buy in a climate conscious manner. I was pleased just yesterday to find a package of four 100% recycled material AC filters for 2.98 when just 1 filter ran up to 4.98.
So, my blog action post today is not filled with any great scientific knowledge or leads on good products or great call to action. It is simply the average 20-something, living in partnership, trying to make it in the world and do my little part at the same time. So, I challenge you to take the extra moment to put the can, cardboard, empty cereal box in the recycling container. Take the extra moment to compare the product you're buying with environmentally friendly equivalents. Take the step to spend a little more now that will save you in the long run, like a better light bulb, when your air conditioner breaks or the fridge stops cooling-replace your appliances with EnergyStar and the like. Buy the 4 pack of 100% recycled AC filter. There are so many better options out there today..easy to find..the packaging is usually GREEN. Buy a whole pineapple instead of a pre-cut pineapple to avoid consumption and trash from the plastic container. Say NO to Plastic or Paper and bring your own reusable bags. If we each make some simple changes on our own, we'll make a global difference together.

Blog Action Day 2009

Life, what is it but a dream?

In researching for a 5-miute mini sermon on Psalm 25 I discovered this. Love it. Think this may be one to commit to memory, it can occompany the only other poem I know by heart Emily Dickinson's, "I'm Nobody, Who are you?"

Lewis Carrol's "Through the Looking-Glass". The final chapter "A Boat, Beneath A Sunny Sky"^[12] is an acrostic of the real Alice's name:Alice Pleasance Liddell.

A boat, beneath a sunny sky
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July -

Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear -

Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream -
Lingering in the golden gleam -
Life, what is it but a dream?

Labor Day Statement

Driving to church on Sunday, listening to NPR, I heard the host quote the Labor Day Statement of so and so important person I assume. I can't recall what was quoted but what struck me was that someone made a Labor Day statement. I thought to myself how important must one be to make a Labor Day statement? I think I want to be important enough one day to make a Labor Day statement. Then it occurred to me..I could make a Labor Day statement. Who's to stop me? So when you quote my Labor Day statement, that's Kelly with a y. :)

Dearest Peoples of the blogosphere, I here by make this Labor Day statement. Work because you love what you do not for money or power or other motive. Step out and do what you want to do. Did you major in musical theatre and now you're an accountant because life happened but you'd really rather be back on stage? Did you really want to work the 9-5 at the post office, donate to NPR and write children's books in the evenings but instead you're stuck in hotel customer service? Write your books. Work for the socialist govt run postal system, may be one day you'll get decent 'socialist' health care. Oops, sorry I got of track there...

To my five followers and other anonymous readers, I say life is too short to spend 40+ hours a week and 2000+ hours a year doing something that doesn't make you want to do cartwheels in spring grass.

I have finally, 5 years after college, taken the plunge into living off theatre (and worship design). Yes, we're poor but Joe owns our home and we eat well. I sent out resumes to every local theatre I could find online in late July. As of five minutes ago I've been offered and accepted one scene design, offered a stage managing position and two after school teaching positions. All from people who've never met me nor are friends of friends. On my own merit as shown in my resume. (Thanks Nancy and Michael for torturing us with semester reviews) We may be in a recession, but an artist wouldn't know it..we're always poor! Where there is a will, where there is passion, where there is talent, there is a way to happiness. You can find yours.

I spent my Labor Day at a party celebrating the volunteers who make my worship design job a gift and blessing every week. Is yours a Labor of Love? Why not make it one?

Sometimes the little things in life are so big and the big things in life so little and the rest just floats around in the in between. I'm surrounded for the 14th time in my life and 7th year in a row by boxes. Yes, count them 14 1/2 moves in 28 years. El Paso, Virginia Beach condo, VB house, Phoenix rental, Phoenix house, Tucson, TCU dorm, (my parent's move to Austin), TCU house, (2 summers in Wisconsin), DC, Austin Apt, Austin Apartment 2, Berkeley house, Berkeley dorm, Dallas apartment, North Richland Hills. I've slowly moved boxes of books over the last couple of weeks, but it really all comes down to the next two days and I'm out of location 13 for good. This phase of life on my own comes to an end. And so something that should be a little thing in life considering the experience I have in moving is BIG.

In the midst of this preparing to move and incorporate my life with someone else, I've spent two weekends at the lake with family and another week in Austin. Yesterday I had a job interview.

One of those big things that becomes small. I wonder what other folks experiences with recent job interviews are because it seemed I had the job before I even got to the room. I was asked one question - what kind of teaching have I done since none is reflected in my resume. The interviewer then told me all about the program asked if I had any questions and I was off to fill out the paperwork. So, what happened there? Is my resume so stunning? I've spent a lot of time on it, but I'm not that convinced. Did my black skirt, white t-shirt and flip-flops seal the deal? What is it? I am actually a bit disappointed. I was ready for the challenge. I want to be quizzed. I want to have to think and deliver on the spot for the unexpected question. Where was the what do you do when the boy wants to be a princess and the girl want to be a southern Baptist preacher? How do you manage a room of 18 participating kids and 1 disruptor?

Then there is the small things in life that are big. My fiance climbed the tree in his front yard last night to save a cat. I love it!

A different look at theft

I love that I have friends who think out of the box.

Dear Sir or Madam who stole my bicycle wheel -m4m- -m4w- (By Lake Merritt)

---

Date: 2009-07-21, 2:25PM PDT

---

Dear Sir or Madam who stole my bicycle wheel,
I have a proposal.

For several days after you stole my 27” rear wheel from my mountain bike, you caused me a dilemma. All I could think of were two options.
1) Buy a new rear wheel – This hardly seemed worthwhile because my bike only cost $25 from Goodwill when I got it and a new back wheel/tire will cost two to three times that much.
2) Buy a used wheel from the Ashby Flea market – We all know this is where stolen wheels go to find new homes. (In fact, I have searched here for my wheel to no avail.) While this option is cheap ($10), it would feel like I am benefiting from someone else’s misfortune. (Probably because I would be benefiting from someone else’s misfortune).

But then I had a brilliant idea.

Rather than buying a new wheel or a used wheel stolen from someone else, why don’t you sell me back my own wheel. I can pay you the $10 you would have made and then I can save the time and stress of finding a new wheel. If it makes a difference, I could even pay you in alcohol or whatever drug habit you were trying to feed.

We can even meet on the same corner where you took my wheel and make it feel all natural. You can walk by and say, “Hey buddy, I notice that your bike seems to be missing a rear wheel. Well, it just so happens I have an extra rear wheel right here with me. Would you like it?” And I can say, “You’re right, kind sir. I am missing a rear wheel. That is very nice of you. It just so happens that I have $10 worth of alcohol, that I was going to use drown my sorrow about not having a bicycle wheel. But now that I have a bicycle wheel, I don’t need it. Why don’t you take it.” And then we can both feel good about ourselves.

Please let me know if this works for you.

Sincerely
Josh

• Location: By Lake Merritt
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

pete and repeat were on a boat...

I've been loosely listening to the NPR reports on the Sotomayor inquisition, I mean interviews. Today I heard a thematic conversation develop over the day, that Sotomayor is being asked a certain pool of questions several times. Not having heard any of the sessions I don't know how closely related the questions are, but it was noted on several of the shows by hosts and commentators.

While in graduate school I often complained about the repetition of questions during class lectures. For example, one person would ask a question (often on something covered in the readings, thus showing they had not read and prepared for the session), the prof would answer. Then the question would be asked again, answered and often a third time. Rarely word for word, but enough that I became extremely disgruntled with professors for entertaining such unpreparedness and lack of attention. Thus, I took as many of my courses, especially general requirements at affiliate schools.

So, why are educated people repeating themselves? Are we living so deeply in a world where it is commonly known that something must be repeated seven times in at least three forms (written, spoken, sung?..I don't really know) that even the highly educated are lacking in basic comprehension skills? Have the scores of reading comprehension tests taken a cliff dive? Do we repeat our questions in hope of a different answer, because we didn't understand the first time, or because we didn't hear (registered sound, but didn't process content)?

pregnancy for dummies

While searching for movies on Netflix last night I found the instant play of this. This is the UK book version. There is also a DVD and USA Book version, at minimum...I care to look no further for other Prego for dummies paraphernalia. It just seems wrong. If there is one 'for dummies' book that shouldn't be written it just might be this one. I defer to my friend Brad's wish for female sterilization on this account. I hope when the book is opened or the DVD is played it includes nothing but an at length discussion on the options of abortion, adoption and future sterilization. At least it's not brain surgery for dummies...well crap....

Marla

Sometime last week I watched the movie, My Kid could Paint That. About a young (4year old) girl whose paintings were discovered and shown by a local gallery, sold, moved on to nyc, a big to do was made and then 60minutes or some such program with Charlie Rose made claim that her father helped her with the paintings and the whole thing was a scam. Part way through the movie I felt bad for even watching and almost turned it off as I felt like just another intruder on this young artist's life. First, I think her art is beautiful. Second, I do believe it is her. The documentary accounted a period of time in which through video various groups tried to 'prove' that Martha has created the paintings completely alone from start to finish. Those paintings which the process was captured on video are strikingly different than the rest of her collection up till that point. There was such an obvious explanation for this which was never mentioned in the film, for one. Second, the accusations were based on perfectly normal comments of a young child.

I've painted with enough children to know that they want help, the want connection. You draw that, I'll draw this. Help me, what color next?...these are all conversations of a normal four year old. I understand how this can be problematic when you're attempting to sell paintings for 300 to 100000 dollars, but its not complete condemnation.

Back to first of all, it is mentioned several times (by her mother mostly) that Marla is an introvert. As an introvert performing an action as pure and inspired as painting while being filmed would greatly alter the product. There are enough people in the world that can't poop outside of their own homes, why is it so unthinkable that a little girl doesn't paint the same way when she's being video taped. Even with her parent's making the documentation of "Ocean" the interaction has changed. The environment for which Marla feels safe and creative has been disrupted by the camera attached to her parent's face. I would imagine that at most times when Marla is painting her parents are not hovering over the entire time. They come in and out to check on her, but just as you'd put a child in front of a TV or with their favorite toys to keep them occupied and safe while you do the dishes, dust, watch the other child, talk on the phone, read a book, etc. It is quite obvious to me why the paintings on film are different. Even with a hidden camera the parents seem to be around more then the usual instance of painting.

Why is it the work of the media to take a completely innocent little girl and turn her life upside down? Why do we need a profit monger media network to tell us if the art we've invested in is actually legit? If I'm going to spend 300-100000 dollars on something I'm going to decide for myself and through my own networks of trust if it is worth it to me. Is there any positive story that has made national press and never been slandered? Does such a thing exist? Why is it even possible for me to legitimately ask that question?

may be a little

if a diamond ring is part of growing up, then I have to admit to growing up a little more Sunday night.

Seven years ago in the spring of 2002 I started dating a boy named Joe. We worked together in the scene shop at TCU. We dated for a year and half until I left for AmeriCorps *NCCC in October of 2003. We attempted a long distance relationship following winter break, but realized that wasn't for us at the time. Over the next years we stayed in touch and took a few vacations together between dating other folks. During my last year of seminary we began talking more and more and spending more time on my trips back to Texas together. Joe came to Berkeley for my graduation last May, I traveled for most of the month of June. Then, out of the entire country, I happened to find a job that actually uses my degree in Dallas and we slowly began dating again in July. The last year has been the run of a relationship that is a few months going on seven years. There was a lot we knew of each other and a lot we're still learning (about ourselves and each other).

Sunday night I was asked to come over to his house for dinner at 9pm. I walked in the front door to find an empty (and clean) house. I made my way to the backyard assuming he was working the grill to find him sitting at a candlelit table set for two in the middle of the yard. As I sit down at the table and we begin chatting Joe pulled a card out and handed it to me. He recently fell and I'd spent the early part of last week making him dinners and rubbing his back. He says he wants to thank me for taking care of him and I mean a lot to him. As I open the thank you card and begin to read the inscription what is really happening starts to hit. There is a heart shaped paper attached to the side of the card. I asked what the characters on the card say and he snatched the heart of the card and lit it on fire! The heart flamed and then flashed so bright creating a blind spot that once I regained sight in that spot he held the most beautiful ring. He is still saying wonderful romantic things that through magic, fire and jewelry I can't remember except the last line, "I want you to be my wife." I stood up to hug and kiss him, at which time he says, "Is that a yes?" Of course! Yes! Apparently yes was the cue for the friend in the field behind the house to light the fireworks. We watched the fireworks and he placed the ring on my finger.

Today I wear a beautiful white gold ring. The ring is his great grandmother's and the center diamond is from a brooch of his mother's. Joe designed the ring and had it built by the jewelry

store his father worked in when Joe was growing up.

To answer the first of your questions:

Yes, I am thrilled

I had hints, but did not completely expect it to happen last night. Really I thought it be at least another year until I got some of the clues lately, even then I thought I had six months or so.

The shock has not quite worn off yet.

I am still constantly looking at the ring and the card.

We do not know when the ceremony will be, we're in no hurry at all.

Joe works in the film industry and offices about 3 miles from my apartment, he owns a home in North Richland Hills -about 30 minutes from my apartment.

nope

Apparently it doesn't matter how old you are you still have to take a swim test at the YMCA. I feel for the girl who had to walk me through it. First she had to tell me that I had to be hosed off before I could get in the pool. Silly me for not showering first, but then again there weren't any signs posted requesting that one rinse off first. Anyhow, after being hosed off by a high school lifeguard boy I was returning to my town and shorts that I'd already placed by the lap lane when I hear, "Ma'am." Not a word I'm yet fond of responding two put with five lifeguards, two kids in the pool and me it was pretty obvious I was the intended. I turned and she says, have you been swim tested yet? -ugh, nope. [insert slightly confused look] She's obviously realized at this point that it is silly, but knows she has to do it anyhow. So I say, no worries, sweetheart, do you job. What do I need to do for you? She straps on the fanny pack and grabs her redfloatyrectangly thing and off we go. She points out the lap lane (which my stuff is already placed next to) and says I have to swim from one end to the other without stopping. I laugh and say, I'm about to do that for about 3o minutes, so I sure hope I can make it once. She acknowledges the simplicity and that there are so many regulations, etc. Off we go. I make it to the end!! I'm awarded with a green plastic bracelet to put over my orange paper version.

About half way through my swim I start to remember when I first started swimming laps, a mere 4 years ago, even though I grew up in Arizona. I wasn't much of a swimmer until Kristi challenged me to train for a triathlon in 2005. In fact, had I been made to swim test that first time in the pool when we began training it would have been a struggle for me to go one length without stopping. I could've backstroked my way through, but not the easy swim it was yesterday.

I was kicked out of the pool about 5 minutes before I was ready to yesterday (and 45 minutes before the pool should have closed). I was stopped upon entering due to lightning today. Waited 15 minutes, then got in only to be kicked out 15 minutes later and 15-30 minutes earlier then I'd planned. Flyer says pool closes at 4:45, but lap lane remains open all evening. At 4:30 the lifeguard says everyone out.

So, in just two days after a cartoon made be wonder if I've hit grown UP, I am at the mercy of a gaggle of red and white clad high school kids. Just, 15 more minutes please, kids? I wouldn't actually say it, they've (almost all) been real sweet. So now I'm hot (no ac in the apt), tired (I work construction in the Texas summer) and only half worked out. We've decided to attempt to beat the heat and get to work at 6:30 in the morning where I'll be reminded directly and indirectly by a group of mostly lovely old men that I'm both young and a girl. I don't know what grown UP is, but I don't think I'm there..I'm not sure I ever will be.

Growing UP?

When I was young I spent the summers with my grandparents in El Paso. My best friend for so many years lived a few blocks from them. We always joked that we couldn't take her mother to any movie because she cried at everything. We thought it was hilarious and couldn't imagine why all these movies that weren't even sad made her cry. I still don't know why. But, last night I found myself shedding tears in the first 15 minutes of a cartoon. Comforted only by the fact that my date was also crying. The story telling is absolutely amazing and we both cried at least two more times before all the credits rolled.

So, has the rest of me caught up to the grey hair? Is crying at the movies something that happens with age? Experience? lack of sleep? My same friend recently posted a beautiful blog on becoming grown up. When does this happen? 18? 21? graduation? marriage? job? birth? death? movies?

two little indians

sittin' under a tree. one of the highlights of my week in Iowa. One of my fellow house builders is of the Oneida tribe in Wisconsin. He invited me over to talk about the book for which the movie Smoke Signals is based on and listen to the music of a family member's drum circle cd. Sitting in the Iowa grass as the sunset we talked about heritage, spiritual rituals, family tradition, woe and just general solving the problems of the world conversation. Not growing up surrounded by native people or with any particularly native tradition or meals, I was reminded this week of a part of my heritage that for some reason I identify quite strongly with, but remain to know and experience very little of. This, on a new list, is something I shall look into more in the time to come.

Iowa has been filled with moments of surreal. Take now, 7:30pm and the sun is shining as if it were noon, but at 9am we were prepped for 90mph winds, the skies were green and

grey, big ol' rain drops and beautiful lighting streaked the sky. Another round rolled in around 5pm. In and out the rains and the sun have come all week. Reminds me of highschool when the sunbathers at CanyonRanch would ponder at how it was sunny and raining at the same time. Why are you closing the pool, the sun is out? They say in Texas if you don't like the

weather wait ten minutes. I'm not sure that is so unique to Texas. In Iowa they brings in round bails of corn stalks and spread them on the ground to keep from tracking mud.

Through this all 500 AmeriCorps raised walls, trusses, decked the roof, shingled and sided to near completion 20 houses this week. 20 people that didn't have houses a month ago will by fall. Cedar Rapids was devastated a year ago by what is called a 100 year flood. Waters 21' above flood level. The red tape of the water line just below roof lines is eerie. The whole scene is ominously liken to driving through parts of NewOrleans, even still. Houses are empty, still bearing the tags from rescue efforts. Signs reading, Rebuild Downtown line the streets. The first floor of any building remains largely empty. Cab drivers lament the gov't local and above on their lack of help, others applaud them. I don't know what it is like to live in a disaster zone (and hope I never do). These folks need our continued help. Cedar Rapids, New Orleans, Liberty...leave a comment with your disaster area town that needs help-all you folks that have the opportunity to coordinate mission trips-don't forget these places.

I am loved.

I just finished yet again a wonderful week of ROTC. They're all still sleeping, I hope. But, I had to leave upon completion of my ramp and showers last night. We spent the week mulling over the theme LoveStory. I thought it went brilliantly and against all my concerns and hesitation at least a portion of it all didn't fly over the heads of our JrHigh crowd as I thought it might. I only know this from my small sampling of dinner companions and work team, but each of them at least got something. Something clicked. Two more camps, I hope it keeps clicking, but am sad I won't be there to see it myself. 

The plainest emination of our theme for me came in my journey home last night. After a long long week of work and long weeks leading up to it, my team -BlueA- finished our 60' ramp around 10:30 thanks to the much appreciated help of many many other camp folks (WE THANK YOU!!) Then we showered, I loaded up the truck and at 11:15 headed to Dallas. I know folks were praying for me the whole way because it was any easy ride. Several called to check on me, some even stayed awake or were phones ready to be awake and talk me through the drive if need be. But no need be. It was one of the easiest drives I've had in a long time. I am loved. By a brother, family, friends as close as kin, 4 jr high and 1 sr high that have known me 5 days and worked their little buns off and still love me at the end of the week (I know b/c they said so). It is good to remember how much we're loved. The reminder just never gets old. If you're reading this..I Love you.

the good folks of the world

 I do a good share of ranting about my frustrations with folks in service. Today, that was not the case. I began my day by backing my beautiful blue truck through a wall. Yes, a wall. The rotted old wood wall of the shed across the alley. I ran over a tree limb, it popped, startled me, diverted my attention and boom. lame. totally busted my tail-light big ol'white marks surrounding it and some smushed boards on the shed. So, I called my daddy like any girl would do. I was already on my way to AutoZone at this point, but needed his confirmation. This is where I met Martin. 1 passenger side F150 '97 taillight in stock. He even came out and put it on the car for me. Martin refers me to English Auto Paint. I walk in 10 minutes before they close tonight and meet Sam. Sam takes a look and sends me next door to the collision repair. Says he'll be happy to mix paint for me tomorrow, but thinks I really just need to get the white paint from the shed boards buffed off and may be Miguel will just do it for me really quick. So, I move next door (I forgot to ask the name of this wonderful addition to my day, possibly Miguel if this is who Sam was talking about). He tells me if he buffs the one corner it will look very odd compared to the rest of the car. So, he gets an old Gatorade bottle half full of 'reducer' could be water for all I know. Wipes the two white scuffs clean! I owe him nothing. What a very nice collision man. I am very thankful for these three men today, they made a major annoyance as pleasant as it could be to recover from in this absolutely insane week. I met and confessed to a man named David who lives in the house on the shed property and tried to win him over complimenting his motorcycle (which is actually extremely loud often at late night hours, but oh well.) Now, all I can hope is that owner of the shed, Roy, is as nice as Martin, Sam and collision repair man. Thank you nice people of the service world. Today you are all greatly appreciated.

i'm sorry, I woke up and it was 1952

This is not okay. I discovered this article after telling the story to my coworkers that you're about to read. This baffles me. Last night I heard the following from a friend who attends a church other than mine: Our youth director received a call today from the program director of their summer mission trip. Program director asks, do you have any colored kids coming on the trip. (I don't know if this was really the reply or added in the story, but I hope it was the actual reply) youth director says, yeah lots of colors what are you looking for. Program director, no seriously do you have any black kids attending the trip. youth director, are you freaking kidding me?! (or a version of such) program director, one of the nights we are going swimming and we need to know if you have any black kids attending because the pool is segregated. youth director makes several statements of shock and appal and I don't yet know what happens from there. I do have faith in this one amazing youth director that right will be done for his kids.
All I have to say is this is not okay of the pool. It is further more unacceptable that an organized church related mission trip would even consider attending such a facility much less to call participating youth directors to see if there will be an issue. Heads need to roll for this. Program director. camp director. mission organization staff. I'm praying for you all through this grave mistake.
I ask how these things can happen still. Aren't there laws, does our not so segregated president have anything to say about this? My coworkers say, someone has to care. Um, it sounds like these prom going kids care. I care. Everyone who I've told this story to cares. I don't want to marr the generally good reputation of a large scale mission trip, but this is not okay. I'm proud to be a part of an organization that will have no such activities and will make an active stand against them. Bradford, leave the comforts of Berkeley and go home and save these people from themselves!

Piece of Cake

So, I led a cake walk last weekend and let me tell you it was no 'cake walk'. Which got me thinking, where do idioms like that come from? How did we begin to associate things that are easy with being a cake walk? Now the concept of a cake walk is very simple. Take chalk, draw a donut on the ground, divide into x number of sections and number, place matching numbers in container, walk in circle, draw a number, win cake. Cake Walk. A contraire! There are often more then twelve folks who want to participate, so you have to keep them in a waiting line, people just step into the moving circle so you end up with more then you began with, or you don't sart with enough and people start hopping numbers when there are empty sections. Then you have the slow times when the same kids keep playing and winning and playing and winning but there are others that haven't won and you don't want to 'leave a bad taste in their mouth' (especially when we're talking cake). You spend two hours yelling, guarding a table of cakes from hundreds of rascal children and 'bending over backwards' to make a fun experience. Ahh!! I'm 'dog tired' just thinking about it.So, where do these phrases come from? I'm most aware of our sayings when I'm around folks for whom English is a second language. Some of them are explainable, others 'throw me for a loop'  and 'boggle my mind'. 

Just as I'm sitting here writing this blog the other two folks in the room have used barrel of laughs and beating a dead horse in their conversation completely oblivious to the content of this post. 

This post may end up clear as mud, but toss it around a bit, mull it over and get back to me.

As I walk through the valley

***SPOILER ALERT***If you have not seen the season's end of Grey's Anatomy and want to without knowing what happens stop reading now***SPOILER ALERT***

In the midst of a very insane week, I managed to give myself two hours to watch the one show I seriously follow and have since it began, Grey's Anatomy. Through watching it with my roommate in Austin, to Friday afternoons with Abby, to large watching parties in the dorms and homes of PSR, to catching up on episodes online, to a little bit of me time with a glass of wine - I've watched the lives of these people of similar age progress through life. Just as my circles have moved and changed so have the lives of Seattle Grace. Folks have married, babies born, people moved, people died.
It is this last moment which has me pondering still today. I don't deal with death much. I've only lost one grandparent and I was not yet 6 then. I've lost one dear friend, but we were already separated by distance. I've lost a couple pets, namely Cricket and Duke. I've been to other funerals, but those are the four deaths that I can recall being closest to. My biggest fear is the death of someone close to me.
I was fully prepared for one of the deaths on last nights show (and that was still hard), but completely blind-sided by the other. I knew we knew John Doe, but I just couldn't figure it out. I kept running old characters through my brain and came up with nothing. Was I blinded by my want for O'Malley to change heart and stay on the show? Was the set-up that good? If he goes to the Army he can come back, if he dies that's it (no more Denny ghost type come-backs please) And what happens now? I've seen these people marry, divorce, mourn, pass exams, grow as individuals, marry, save lives and now die. I'm sure I'll get to process through these deaths with the characters that return in the fall, but what about my own experiences with them? {Artistic note to the director: nice picture made with the final scene. I will remember that last time I saw Izzy and George standing so handsomely at those elevator doors for a long time}
I realize that this is 'just a tv show' and I'm taking it very personally at this point, but I think it is worth looking at, especially for those of us who serve others. How affected are we by our television communities? I've spent my whole life witnessing families who know its not a good idea to tell mom/dad/sibling bad news after their team lost the game. Watched co-workers blog and go over and over the latest episode of LOST or Heroes. Listen to the hope ignited by a Susan Boyle or the rejection felt when our person gets voted out. We're involved in these lives. One statistic claims:
"According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube."
It would be very difficult to convince me that we're not involved and affected by something we devote at least 9 years of our cumulative life to. So, today I mourn. I mourn the loss, of not my favorite two characters, but still two people that have been a part of my life for at least one hour a week for 30 weeks of the year for 5 years. That is more then I've seen a lot of my dearest friends or most anyone reading this blog.

Rethink Church

I went to an event yesterday that was our conference's participation in a new campaign of the umc. The event happened in the eastern portion of my neighborhood, Oak Cliff. This part of the neighborhood is a predominately Spanish speaking population. It was noted by one of the organizers that the only English speaking folks at the event were clergy and other 'church professionals.' But, all the written materials I saw were in English, the speaking that I heard was in English. We obviously need to Rethink Church. Was it that the expected crowd of English speakers didn't turn out? Scared by the humidity or the drive into 'the hood'? I've often had to explain my living in a quite nice and quaint Oak Cliff neighborhood rather than the rough and tumble reputation my dear OC can have.
After this I went to church - to pull carpet. Lots of folks showed up to help and we had the room cleared in 30 minutes. So, I followed this with a stop at the Praise Band rehearsal. This was the moment of the day that unexpectedly rejuvenated me. I do love being at their rehearsals, but last night I was particularly uplifted by the camaraderie and music.
I want to Rethink Church, but there is still some of church now that I'd like to hang onto. Nights like yesterday for one. But, then again even last night could be better. What if rehearsal was open? What if other people got to experience the fellowship and music making processes that I get to when I sit in on a rehearsal. What happens when we open the doors and no one comes in? What happens when we move outside and people walk by or come after the event is over? How do we find the balance in being the church when and where folks need us to be and still be true to our own needs? When do we stop waiting for a committee on interpretation and simply go and be the body of Christ?

Women Build

Here is a "daily diary" entry I was asked to write for National Women Build Week.

Fact. Women Build. Just yesterday I was one of two people working on a Habitat for Humanity house in a West Dallas neighborhood, both of us women. Several of the neighborhood men stopped long enough to ask us if we knew what we were doin' up there on that roof. Yes, we're not up here fixin' our nails or baking cupcakes but doing actual work. We're the house leaders, yes we are women who know how to build a house. We're not alone either. Women Build.
Today I had the opportunity to work on a home as part of National Women Build Week. It was a paint day which is an unfortunate representation of the work women do for Habitat. Painting is often deemed "women's work." But, this is not so often the case in my experiences with Habitat. If it wasn't for women, who account for half our Construction Supervisor staff and 70% of the Assistant Construction staff at Dallas Area Habitat, our homes wouldn't get built. I have personally worked on several homes that will end up in the hands of single mother's and it is one of my greatest joys to empower these women in the actual building of their homes. I don't hand them brooms or nail magnets, but hammers and saws. Women Build. Women build and own their own homes. Women teach and lead others in all aspects of building homes. Women carry 80 pound stacks of shingles up ladders and install 4x8 pieces of OSB on a 6 pitch roof. So, the next time you're out on a construction site and a bunch of women come around, don't count them out, but step up to the plate.
There isn't a National Women Build Week because its the only 7 days a year that women are in the construction world. For many of us it is just another week. Women Build. This week only highlights the enormous contribution women have to the home building industry, especially in the non-profit sector. Women Build. Why not have a woman build your next home?

flu and floods

It's been quite the week in Texas with schools closing and people washing their hands in mass hysteria. OK, I'm a little cynical about this whole H1N1 not quite but may be pandemic. I wish someone would test a theory. If we reported on cases of Cancer for one week that were diagnosed AND that people actually died of. If we reported for one week on the cases of HIV/AIDS that were diagnosed and those that died. How much more striking would the statistics be? How advanced would the conversations on cures and vaccines become in just one week. I don't mean to strike unrealistic comparisons, I realize that neither Cancer nor HIV/AIDS are air-borne highly contagious diseases, but they are taking huge amounts of life away from really wonderful people in this world. Even in these cases, panic is not the answer. My brother really said it best in his post on this subject.
Panic was not the answer at my church this morning when congregants arrived to half the building (including the room that the service I coordinate worship in) closed. We combined services as fans and wet-vacs howled at the other end of the building, unbeknown to some until it was announced in church. The church is a wonderful body of people not a building. Today was just another day of proof. As we live lives in ministry that often includes building campaigns, sharing space and change may we always remember that building or not, the church is the church because of the people.

Big Brother

This post does not relate to the fact that my little brother out grew me years ago, but of extreme confusion and a bit of fear at exactly how much this world we live in knows about us. My friend had his phone stolen yesterday. He walked out of a restaurant, realized the phone was on the table, walked back in to all the same people except a new couple occupying the table he had been at but no phone and no one has seen it. Manager's office - no phone. Lame. Soon he realized the fully charged phone was off, thus confirming in his mind someone that he probably sat within 10 feet of eating his dinner slid a cracked screen G1 into their pocket and turned it off. (Thus disabling the GPS, yes he's been down that road). So beyond the lack of morality of these restaurant diners on a rainy Texas Wednesday, it is really his call to the phone company that is troubling. As he goes through the arduous process of explaining to ten computers and a dozen reps in several countries his story he gets to the all too bouncy and happy woman who has a series of questions to determine identity. Questions that could come from any number of places (thus not info he has given to the phone company. First, this was a business phone, so all purchasing, billing etc went to his boss. Still there was info on my friend. Which of these five addresses have you been associated with in the last four years... How old is Roy Carpenter. A name I'm willing to post here, because the phone company already knows it. Roy is an uncle to my friend. An uncle that except for a random visit when Joe (friend who lost phone) had a delivery in the building next door to Roy's home six months ago he would not have seen in over 4 years. Why does the phone company know some one's fairly distant uncle? And why do they assume we know the age of our fairly distant uncle's? What happened to your high school mascot? Mother's maiden name? favorite pet? street you grew up on? What happened to information that I give when opening an account? Who is your source T-Mobile?? You scare me!!

Texas Oddities

In all of my love and adoration for the great state of Texas, I do recognize we have our oddities. Bluebonnets are one of those. I've blogged on this before, but it gets me every year at this time. The beautiful flower of this great state blooms in full force this time of year. Thus, it is time to take our precious children, dress them in their Sunday best, toss them in the middle of the freeway and take their photo. I exaggerate not. So, we don't actually throw them into traffic, but if anyone has spent anytime with a toddler or young child keeping them in a ten-foot (at most) span of open space is next to impossible. As is keeping a large metal/plastic boxy robot machine at 80mph on a road and not the grassy, bluebonnet covered knoll along side. PEOPLE of TEXAS: There are bluebonnets EVERYWHERE! Please find a lovely patch in the field by the grocery store or the local park -not in the freeway median. It takes no more then about five feet of bluebonnets to get a great picture of your little child to send to the grandparents, aunts, uncles and refrigerators.
Second, of this week's Texas traits is tradition. And no more then at Texas A&M University will you find tradition. I had the joy of witnessing the acquisition and dunking of my little brother's Aggie ring. I have a high school ring, but have not invested in a ring from college or grad school, so some of the importance of the occasion is lost on me. I also have concern over folks that want to believe that the ring is more important then the diploma. I disagree. Your ring is nice and brings you a sense of community, but I'm not hiring you for your jewelry. Show me the diploma. And please clean the 4 cans of keystone off your ring before applying for the next job.
Finally, Houston. Houston is known to be humid. A place is humid because it gets a lot of rain. Houston not only gets rain, but also hurricanes. So, why do the streets of there very new (and not lacking in finacial resources) neighborhoods flood? I remain perplexed at the Houstonians who just shrugged at the flooded roads to say, that's Houston for ya and its common to get torrential rain in a couple hours. Now, I'm not a city planner nor have I spent more then 7 days total in the vicinity of Houston, but humid+hurricanes+rains a lot=produce good drainage systems. Houstonians: I'm confused!
I guess in the end, it is a good thing that Texas is God's promised land 'cause we're liable to be in a lot of trouble otherwise.

A Lesson in Faith

Let us all take a lesson in not judging others by this beautiful event. May we never let our dreams die. May we be so much nicer and more caring to those we meet.
Susan Boyle Sings on Britain's Got Talent 2009 Episode 1 @ Yahoo! Video

Holy Weekend

This morning started with dark skies and just a few rain drops. Raindrops like bittersweet tear drops of that which must happen, which in the end will be good, but at the time just seems bad. The day cleared and then came the smoke. As the afternoon went on our skies turned grey, then orange as the sunset, though the sun no longer shone. Just thick smoke and the smell of burning and ash. Not the good smell of when fire places start up in late fall as the weather turns cold, but that of devastation. Warnings to close your windows and keep your asthmatic kids inside.
All this in the midst of Holy Week. I sat in our service tonight a combined experience of the last supper and the 7 last words and heard with new visions the reading of that moment when Christ breathed his last and the skies went dark for three hours. The depth and sacrifice hits a new level tonight as I see the images of devastation and remember that smell and orange sky of this afternoon. How different it is for me to feel this darkness and know that not just Sunday, but Easter is coming. That there will be resolution/resurrection. But, what about the whole communities that burnt to the ground today? Not just a single home, but a whole town burned. A community that will have to scatter just like the community Jesus built scattered upon his death. I can't imagine anything was ever the same after that night. Nothing for these communities will ever be the same. But, what happens for them on Sunday? Will their days go dark for three days and then resurrection? Will Ty and his Extreme Makeover come in and rebuild entire towns?
I am even more grateful in this Holy season and this Holy Week that not just this Sunday but every week there is an Easter. There will always be the resurrection for me. My prayer is that in the next days that will be so dark for some they find hope. Hope in tomorrow's full moon. Hope in the rains that will come Saturday. Hope in the Sonrise on Sunday.

Love for All

to JC..To JC! Cheers

Shot glass that says “Give us a shot,” handed out at bars by Cross Point United Methodist Church in Bondurant, Iowa. Unfortunately all you get is the glass, so you still have to pay for what’s in it.

UPDATE: Serve America Act

The Serve America Act is the Senate version of the House GIVE Act. This is going to debate today and could use a strong presence from our National Service network to help pass this critical legislation expanding National Service programs. Please see below for more information and how you can lend your voice to this effort. Thanks for your support! Senate Debate on Serve America Act Begins MondayAsk your Senators to Vote "YES" On Monday, March 23, the Senate will begin debate on S. 277, the Serve America Act. The bill, authored by Senators Edward Kennedy (D-MA) and Orrin Hatch (R-UT), will expand national service and volunteer programs to tackle America's most pressing challenges and create a new era of civic responsibility. President Obama specifically asked congressional leaders to pass the Serve America Act in his address to Congress last month. With additional leadership from Senators Michael Enzi (R-WY) and Barbara Mikulski (D-MD), the bill has been expanded to include reforms to the existing national service infrastructure to ensure accountability, efficiency and results. The Act provides necessary administrative simplification to help faith and community-based organizations - particularly small nonprofits operating in rural and economically disadvantaged communities - more effectively meet community needs. The Serve America Act was approved unanimously by the HELP Committee this past week.
Click Here to Read a Summary of the Serve America Act.
Click Here to Read the Release from Senators Mikulski, Kennedy, Hatch, and Enzi.
Your calls are extremely important. Please let your elected officials know that there is a high level of interest in this bill and we need their support. Please call your senators and urge them to vote YES on the Serve America Act. Suggested talking points and instructions are listed below.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HOW TO CALL THE YOUR SENATORS
1. If you need help determining who represents your state, visit www.congress.org.
2. Call the Capitol Switchboard at (202) 225-3121 and ask to be connected to the office of your senator.
3. Once connected, identify yourself as a constituent and ask to speak to the Legislative Assistant in charge of national service and education issues.
A MESSAGE TO DELIVER BY PHONE
I am calling to ask Senator _______ to vote "YES" for the Serve America Act (S. 277). Due to the economic downturn, our communities are struggling and the demand for services is expanding exponentially. Nonprofit organizations need human capital to help them provide critical assistance to citizens in need. According to "Quiet Crisis," a report recently issued by Bruce Reed and John Bridgeland, the human need for nonprofit help is skyrocketing as nonprofit resources shrink.United Way saw a 68% increase during the last year in the number of calls for basic needs such as securing food, shelter and warm clothing, and is receiving 10,000 to 15,000 more calls every month compared to 2007; The State of Arizona reports an increase of more than 100 percent in the number of people who sought social services from 2007 to 2008. Goodwill of Central Arizona reported nearly twice the number of visits to its centers in December 2008 compared to 2007. Over the last year, more than 70 percent of Michigan nonprofits have seen increasing demand for their services, while 50 percent say their financial support has dropped.
The Serve America Act addresses this dilemma, using citizen service to place more human capital in the nonprofit sector. As Americans are stepping forward in record numbers to serve, the Serve America Act reinvests in service and volunteering. The bill creates more opportunities for a greater number of Americans of all ages to serve, helping to address local and national challenges education, health, clean energy, and poverty. The Serve America Act will reauthorize the federally-supported national service programs like AmeriCorps, Learn and Serve America, and Senior Corps, which have not been reauthorized in 16 years. The bill includes new approaches for expanding the capacity of the nonprofit sector to tap the ingenuity and innovation of citizens working together to address the problems our nation faces. This is a bipartisan bill approved unanimously by the Senate HELP Committee. It is not controversial and the White House supports the legislation. I hope that Senator ______ will vote YES on the Serve America Act.

Christopher Ptomey
Congressional Relations
Habitat for Humanity International

Save AmeriCorps with Habitat for Humanity

Please take action on the following!! Wonderful programs that allow those of us to serve our country in peaceful ways are in great danger. We greatly support the GIVE Act which in many ways increases funding and AmeriCorps participation BUT not with the 2 final provisions that would greatly hinder the program and many non-profits.

National Service Legislation Moves Forward in the House and Senate
On Wednesday, the House of Representatives passed the Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education Act of 2009 (H.R.1388) by a vote of 321 to 105. If enacted the bill would expand national service programs and increase the number of service members from 75,000 to 250,000. Earlier in the day the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions (HELP) approved the companion bill to H.R.1388, the Serve America Act (S.277), which is expected to be brought up for consideration on the Senate floor next week. Just before final passage, a motion to recommit (attached) was passed that added 2 provisions that present great risk for HFH. The first would prevent grants from flowing to organizations that engage in advocacy activities, i.e. most CNCS grantees, including HFHI. The second prohibits any service member from displacing a volunteer. In discussions with House majority and minority staff, it has become clear that many representatives were not aware of the implications of the motion and would not have supported it otherwise. HFHI’s Office of Government Relations and Advocacy continues to work closely with House and Senate staff and with colleagues at Voices for National Service to remedy these problems. HFH affiliates are encouraged to follow up with their Representatives and Senators requesting that these provisions be removed from the final bill. (Capitol switchboard: 202-224-3121)
Amendments receiving floor consideration:·
Amendment offered by Rep. Loebsack (D-IA) to authorize a new grant program, the Volunteer Generation Fund, to assist nonprofit, faith-based, and other civic organizations and State Commissions in expanding the supply of volunteers and improving the capacity of such organizations and State Commissions to utilize new volunteers.·
Amendment offered by Rep. Hill (D-IN) to make sending care packages to soldiers deployed in combat zones overseas an eligible service program.·
Amendment offered by Rep. Hunter (R-CA) to remove veteran’s educational benefits from being taken into account when calculating the maximum award an individual could receive for participating in one of the national service programs.·
Amendment offered by Rep. Kilroy (D-OH) to make the supervision of in- and out-of- school physical education classes and nutrition education eligible service activities, in addition to providing elderly people with food delivery, legal and medical services and transportation assistance.· Amendment offered by Rep. Markey (D-CO) to increase the operational support provided to Education Award Only programs.·
Amendment offered by Rep. Perriello (D-VA) and Rep. Titus (D-NV) to create a National Service Reserve Corps to engage national service alumni in national disaster and other emergency response.·
Amendment offered by Rep. Pingree (D-ME) to expand the Clean Energy Corps to meet the needs of rural communities.·
Amendment offered by Rep. Roskam (R-IL) to authorize annual evaluation of the National Civilian and Community Corps.·
Amendment offered by Rep. Teague (D-NM) and Rep. Klein (D-FL) to expand service activities to include assistance to veterans in education or career services, medical claims, or transportation needs.·
An amendment offered by Rep. Roe (R-TN) to roll back funding for AmeriCorps to fiscal year 2008 levels was defeated.

Liverpool can dance

Thanks to my little brother for passing along this bit of entertainment. And props to T-Mobile for making life fun while promoting their product.

T'aschu

I have a friend who jokes that Bush is not as dumb as he sounds but just a Texan. See, here in Texas we just make up words as we need them. It is a generally accepted practice. I can't actually find any source for the following list. But, regardless they're quite amusing and the first half were most likely created by Texans, witty and inventive. Enjoy!

Washington Post Mensa Invitational
Here are the winners of this year's Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj.. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

mating blueberries

I just spent the weekend with part of one of my favorite families - the Zeller et al. The youngest Zeller is my god-daughter. In just 24 hours spent in nature with good folks I've been rejuvenated and inspired. After pushing little girls on swings, holding them up to monkey bars, more hide and seek then I can count and a four mile hike with Kristi I no longer need a trip to the gym or therapist this week. The comfort of lasting friendships and almost unconditional love of little girls is the best nurture my spirit can get.
Two more moments of note for the trip:
We often see and hear marks of a generation. One of my favorites is 5 year old Kenna and 3 year old Ashley singing Patty cake. They get through the 'mark it with a B for Baby' version and ask Kristi if that was right. She says yes and there are lots of different ways to sing it (meaning mark it with a K for Kenna, A for Ashley, etc) The girls start singing at random, not catching on to this. Out of the nonsense came the line "throw it in the microwave for baby and me" I love it!
I also learned that blueberries (among other fruits) need two trees to be able to bloom. A tree alone bears no fruit, it doesn't die, but it doesn't blossom. It needs a mate. Interesting metaphor in that. Relational plants. As my preacher friends will say..that'll preach.

heartbroken

Habitat Dallas has started a new area of service..Rehab. This happens in two ways. One is the most unfortunate circumstance of having to essentially foreclose on a Habitat home, refurbish it and sell it to a new Habitat Family. The second is to acquire foreclosed on non-Habitat properties, refurbish and resell them as Habitat properties. Several of us worked on the first kind today. A home built 5-7 years ago by Habitat, that will now be known to 9 of us as the poo house.
As I enter the last portion of my second year of AmeriCorps service and a lifetime of service in general, I have seen my share of undesirable living circumstances, by both lifestyle and disaster. I believe today's to have been a disaster of lifestyle and my heart hurts still for it (along with the odd muscles used to scrape 1-3 layers of extremely gluey vinyl of the floors). At random in the house were bits of poop from a small dog and/or cat, mice; the smell of rotten milk and chicken; and I'll leave the gifts of the bathroom and the toilet we removed to your imagination.
I spent a lot of time in what I decided by the objects and pictures I found to be at the largest a 10x10 room shared by two boys- a small toddler and 5-7 year old. If they actually slept in the room, I'm not sure where as there were no beds, nor room in the mess to have been two beds. After several trash can loads of toys, books, shelving, etc I began to scrape. My heart was wrenched at this point. I began to pray. It was all I knew to do.
I prayed for those boys, for the sister(s), for the rest of the family, for the new family that will move in, for this generation. I will continue to pray for them. Where are they now? Is it better? Could it possibly be worse? I will continue to wonder where CPS is in places like this, only to then wonder if their life in a home such as this is a better one then foster care or orphanages could provide and my heart hurts more. So I pray. And I'll keep praying. I'll keep building houses. I'll keep praying.

High Road

So I often ponder the saying, what do you do when nobody is looking. It is easy to do what is right when we know we're being watched, but do we do the right thing when no one is watching or might ever know? I don't live up to this all the time, but I am daily trying to become a better person. Today, I had a simple almost silly moment of this. As part of my AmeriCorps position with Habitat we're taking weekly tests on our construction knowledge. We're suppose to have read the construction manual. (As I said to them, if we'd gotten it at the beginning of the year, I would have read it, but it is not my top priority to sit down and read this large document at this point) So, I've been floating fairly successfully through the quizzes based on my own knowledge having been on the sites since Sept. Today I came across a question that was really only answerable if one had read the manual. Apparently an exact copy of a graph in the handbook. I made a comment when I came upon the question (after I'd just kidded someone else's silly question) about needing a calculator, to be informed it was in the handbook, etc. I knew one of the three answers because it applied to the style house I've built with Habitat. I had no clue on the other two. Except for my teammate. The one I'd just given a hard time to for his silly question. Muttered the answer in a cough-like creatively random sentence. I figured out his meaning, based on what knowledge I did have of the question and figured out the correct answers. But as I sat there staring at them I couldn't do it. Grades don't matter except for pride. These quizzes are simply tools for learning. I'll forever know the answer to this question and putting those answers down might have given me a close to perfect quiz. I just couldn't do it. What good would it have done? I couldn't be proud of my near perfect score if I'd cheated.
I'll be the first to say, I don't always take the high road. But for a few minutes today, I did. I hope to say that more often as my life goes on.

best rebuttal ever

One of my brain release indulgences is to watch some teenybopper gushy CW shows while I do some of the more menial tasks of my jobs. One of them is Privileged. I won't explain, you know it, you can guess, or it just doesn't matter. One of the 'privileged' girls was arguing with her catholic boyfriend (assistant chef) about his choice not to attend the gay chef's wedding. Catholic boy in arguing his case against homosexuality says something like, most of the country agrees with me. Rich girls rebuttal is, and most of the country thinks they can wear mini skirts with cowboy boots, but they're wrong.

I laughed out loud!! It was perfect. I'm stealing the line and you should too.

and...I'm pretty sure I've worn the closest thing to a mini skirt that I own with cowboy boots before (and not just for Halloween) I guess that was bad?

foul play

I didn't get to watch the Oscars and so I was watching one of those awful Hollywood gossip shows when I couldn't sleep last night to try and glean some of the events of the show. I heard one commentator state that Freida Pinto was one of the 'worst dressed' wearing a "mother of the bride look", not the young beauty that she is. The site on which I found this picture agrees. I completely disagree on aesthetics and tact. First, I think she is positively gorgeous and this dress absolutely beautiful. Someone remind me of it if I'm ever luck enough to walk down a red carpet. Then there is tact. The rags to riches movie in both subject and creation with dreams of DVD distribution makes millions and sweeps the Oscars. Is there no grace for the first time Oscar runway youth (yes, I believe 24 to be youth, even if hollywood doesn't)? I do believe Frieda was a model previous to her debut film of Slumdog Millionaire and is not doing so bad having been cast in Woody Allen's next film, so I'm sure these tactless comments won't cut too deep. But can't we have some class? I'm mean really, welcome to America, we love your movie but hate your dress even if it so elegantly combines elements of Indian fashion with American runway elegance. There are some truly poorly compiled outfits on the redcarpet and I just don't believe this was anywhere near that list. (yes, i realize there are far more important things to spend time on than fashion, but our culture makes and breaks people on the impression made by physical appearance all the time) Freida, I loved your movie, I LOVE your dress, I look forward seeing more of your work and do hope that we treat you better in the future, thank you for sharing your talent, beauty and taste with us!

people change

For today's reading pleasure I send you to my little brother's blog. He's seeking out what is right and wrong in the world and I am so proud of him. For many of us the confrontation he speaks of is easy and liberal philosophy has been inherent for our whole life, for many reading this you disagree, for others (like my brother) you can remember a time when you'd have disagreed and done nothing but you've changed. I have hope for change and not just because Obama told me so, but because I've watched it in Alex. Because there is at least one kid in College Station, TX fighting the good fight.

2.7 seconds on a bull named fu man chu

I love Texas and was recently reminded of that at the fort worth stock show and rodeo. the pride of one group of people in their state and culture is so prominent among rodeo folks. all the country songs of ropin' and ridin' come to life. Chivalry is not dead. And there is just something great about the smell of animal poo. Two events marked this event for me. First, as we wandered the stock show marketplace we came across a booth run by two men that Joe and I are acquainted with. Both men coming up to us completely separately tipped there hat as they shook my hand hello and again for goodbye. I don' know why but there is just something that warms the heart in that simple age old gesture. I was struck second by the pageantry, patriotism and faith of the opening ceremonies of the rodeo. For 36 performances dozens upon dozens of horses and riders parade around the arena led by two sets of the 6 flags that have flown over Texas. In the manner of the wave sections of audience members rise, remove their hats and then sit again as the USA and Texas Flags pass their section. No one person sang the national anthem, but the whole crowd together and when fireworks shot of in this enclosed arena those flag bearing horses hardly twitched. The entire rodeo is accompanied by a live rodeo orchestra. From the national anthem, 8 seconds on a buckin' bull to the entr'acte clown show. Finally, Joe nor I know why, but we know a lot about the rodeo. We know what's going on in each event, the order of events and so forth. But why? Why are somethings just known? Does everyone know these things about the rodeo? I was never a rodeo cowgirl nor a part of a rodeo family. It is clear why I know excessive knowledge on the church or theatre, but where along the way did rodeo 101 come into my brain?

Courage Campaign

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

wisdom

I'm grateful for wonderful people in my life. This letter reminds me of those wonderful people as it brings back memories of a year ago and very eloquently confronts a controversy that I truly, even after my own involvement in Vagina Monologues productions, underestimate. Please read the letter and as we are in the midst of V-day season, support a local production. Support the women and men around you taking part in this amazing truth telling.

80

Somewhere in the midst of endless video of poor folks stranded and spinning their wheels on a heavy sheet of ice in the DFW area this morning as I stayed snuggled warm in my bed, I heard a report of the "sudden death" of an 80 year old man (an author I believe). Can one die suddenly at 80? Have we so taken life and the length of it for granted that death 'by natural causes' (only my assumption of how this man died as there didn't seem to be any reporting otherwise) at 80 is sudden? I'm about 1/3 of the way to 80, which I do hope to make it to. I would consider slipping away in the night today a sudden death. I consider the precious man who died falling from an icy bridge near my office this morning after stopping to help another driver a sudden death. I don't know that I would feel the same at 80. Is it that he wasn't sick? Or at least diagnosed. Because no one had said you have 4 days, months, years that this death is considered sudden? Is it that it wasn't a tragic accident? What makes death sudden and what makes death...umm..not sudden?

questions

i often feel that I am full of questions or at a complete lack. Like in the interview when they finally say, do you have any questions. I know that I should always have a humdinger up my sleeve, but rarely do I really have a ringer. I need time to process. Time to unconsciously thing and reflect then to come back and form questions.
A gaggle of methodist alumni from psr returned one day during me time there. one of them told a story that I continue to hold on to. the pastor said that when he graduated from psr and entered the ministry full time he realized that colleagues coming out of other institutions had a very formed and constructed theology. who is God, what happened on the cross, why do bad things happen to good people, etc. All this pastor came out of psr was with more questions and a complete deconstructed theology. For a time he resented that. Then he realized psr had taught him how to know what questions to ask. is theology really about having all the answers? having a constructed theology? i don't have to pass board of ordination, so for me the only solid answer is no. theology for me is knowing the questions to ask. i need to practice this again.
I was given that opportunity last week with the electric company. i know they're doing their job following some scripted protocol, but really people. Common sense shows that when a bill has varied no more then $5-10 month to month and instantly more then doubles all of the sudden, the lock is broken on the meter, someone moved in downstairs and I was out of town w/nothing but the fridge running for half of the billing cycle that this doesn't add up. yes, I realize this billing cycle was 8 days longer then the last one, but that does not account for DOUBLE+! But, in my fourth call to my electric company it was apparent that I was going to have to figure out all the right questions to ask. infuriating. (i shall stop there as my recent gripes of the service industry are abundant in the blog archive)
my hope is that i keep learning what questions to ask and that I not infuriate anyone seeking depth in sacred matters by following some constructed christian script and painstakingly forcing them to figure out the questions on their own. I am grateful for my deconstructed pieces, recut, reshaped, flipped, flopped, painted, torn, taped, tossed in the air and slowly floating down, blowing in the wind and reconstructing in this post-graduate world.